Being a Nicer Mom in 2010
You think the title of this article is referring to being a nicer mom to your kids don’t you? Nope…read on.
I was talking with one of my mommy friends the other day, and she shared an embarrasing experience with me. She was attending her son's Christmas party at preschool. All the other mommies were there, and she was looking forward to the chance to get to know them better. Unfortunately, her 2 yr old wasn't concerned with her need to socialize with other moms, and he decided it was time for his daily stinky diaper. My friend said that the woman she was talking to actually got up and left the room for fresh air. When my friend said "well, I guess I should go change him," another mom looked at her with scorn and said "Um, yeah." My friend was so embarrased, and felt so unwelcome, that she took her kids and went straight home. Her story really made an impression on me, and I started wondering; "Am I always nice to my fellow mom? Do I always reach out to the new mom or the mom who might need some extra encouragement at playgroup?" I was sad to find that the answer is no. I think I'm a pretty nice person, but I know I could try to reach out to other moms more often. So I'm putting a new resolution at the top of my list this year, and I would like to challenge you to do the same. I am going to be a nicer mom…..to other moms.
I understand that this article may not apply to you. Maybe you always make the effort to talk to the new mom in playgroup. You’re the one who stays back to encourage the slowest mom in your stroller fitness class. Of course you always give up your place in line so that the mom with 2 screaming toddlers and a baby on her hip can get out of the grocery store a little sooner. If all of the above are true for you, then you get a gold star for being nice, and this article is not for you. Personally, I know I could be doing more to help my fellow Moms, and below I’ve listed some ways I can be a nicer mom in 2010.
- Take the initiative to help. Call a day ahead and ask your playgroup hostess if you can help with anything, or bring anything she needs. Offer to help clean up when the playgroup is over. When you’re with other moms at an outing, volunteer to help them with their kids; change dirty diapers, wipe noses and tie shoelaces so that they can have a little break. You mommy-friends will appreciate your help, and will probably offer to do the same for you.
- Put other moms before yourself. If you are at the grocery store without your kids and you notice another mom in line struggling with hers, offer to let her go ahead of you in line…..Call one of your mommy-friends and surprise her by offering to keep her kids so she can go on a date night with her husband or have an afternoon to herself.
- Smile more. It doesn’t cost you anything, not even more of your time, but it has great value for the person it was directed at. It also improves your looks and your confidence.
- Empathize. You’re a mom too….which means that your child has thrown a tantrum in a public place, produced a stinky diaper at the worst possible time, and spilled something red and sticky on someone else’s carpet. So when the new mom in the group faces one of these challenges, offer to lend a hand and an empathetic word or two. It could make all the difference for the other mom, and it will make you feel good about yourself too.
- Welcome the new mom. When a new mom joins your social club or playgroup, make her feel welcome. It’s always easier to talk to old friends and stay nice and cozy in our comfort zone, but remember you were the new mom once, and someone made you feel welcome. Pay it forward.
