Our Adoption Story

 

My husband, our 5 year old son and I have just arrived home from a 3 week trip to San Antonio, TX. We brought home a beautiful souvenir; a baby girl. Weighing 10 lbs 7 oz, our little Abby Kate (short for Abigail Katherine) arrived in our arms after growing in our hearts for over a year...
Our adoption story started like many others. My husband and I had some difficulty conceiving our son 5 years ago. We wanted to have another baby, but we decided that adoption would be a better choice for us this time. We did some research, talked about it at length, spent a lot of time praying, but had not yet begun actively working with an agency. For some reason, it just didn't feel right. So we waited....hoping that God would open a door for us, or help us find the right path. In January, I got the call that would change our lives forever. My dear friend who lives just outside of San Antonio, TX called one night in the middle of January. We stay in touch and speak regularly on the phone, so this was not unusual. This time however, she had a question for me; "Are you still interested in adopting?"  My heart leapt, wondering what was coming next, but I just calmly answered that yes, we were very interested. To give a little background, my friend works for a private children's home in Medina, TX. This home provides shelter , job training and child care to single mothers who are trying to get back on their feet after difficult life circumstances. A new young lady had recently come to the home, and she confided in one of the social workers and my friend that she was expecting her third child. Already having 2 children under the age of 4, she felt that she could not physically or emotionally handle raising a third child on her own. She also loved her unborn child and wanted her to have an opportunity to grow up in a loving family that could provide the things for her that her birth mother could not. She asked the social worker and my friend if they would help her find a family to adopt her baby. She wanted to be able to do a private adoption and meet the family, verses going through an agency. So, my friend was calling on that night to find out if we would like for her to give the young woman our contact information. This was the door opening that we had been waiting for. We were thrilled and excited, and of course we said yes! We emailed the young lady to tell her about our family, and her response was quick and positive. She was happy to find us and wanted to give us her baby. She was already 7 months into the pregnancy, so we only had 2 months to get prepared. We began the legal process immediately. I won't bore you with those details, but if you're interested in learning more about the adoption process, I now have some great resources I could recommend, and please feel free to contact me by clicking here if you would like more information.

I know that every adoption is different. The part about ours that turned out much differently than I expected, was the bond I developed with our birth mother. She was very interested in knowing about us and our family. We emailed or texted almost every day during that two months, and I grew to care about this sweet young woman who obviously loved her other two young children as well as the one she now carried. She talked excitedly about the ultrasounds and would keep me updated regularly about how her pregnancy was going. I told her about our day to day life, wanting to assure her that we would be providing a good home for her baby. We decided that I would fly down 1 week before the birth, so that we could spend some time together. When I arrived, I met her mother, and her two young children as well. I spent the week before the birth with them, and at the end of that week when my husband arrived, I was wishing I could adopt them all and take them home. My only fear was that when the baby came, the birth mother would change her mind. She would have 10 days after the birth to do so, and I knew that it would be hard for her. There were such a mixture of emotions, I could never describe them all. I cared for this young woman and her children, I wanted the baby she carried so much, but at the same time I couldn't help but feel some guilt for "taking her baby away."  She never waivered though. Throughout the pregnancy, she said she did not want to see or hold the baby after she was born, or even see pictures. She thought it would be too hard.

Abby Kate was delivered by scheduled C-Section on March 21st, 2011 at 7:28am. Our dear friend who introduced us to the birth mother at the beginning of this story was in the delivery room. She brought our baby into the nursery and showed us through the glass. It was love at first sight. I will never in all my life forget that moment. I knew then that if her birth mother changed her mind, this would be the end of the adoption road for me. This baby would live in my heart as my daughter and I would never try to adopt another. I reached out and touched the glass where her little face was and a love only a mother can feel overcame me.

They let us go in the nursery immediately. Touching her for the first time was so magical. She was a big baby! Our son weighed just under 9 lbs when he was born. This little chunky monkey came out looking like she was two months old at 10 lbs 7 oz!  As we were stroking her hair and watching the nurse work with her, my friend came back into the nursery after visiting the birth mother. I asked how she was doing. She said "good, and she would like to see you alone."  I couldn't read the expression on my friend's face and a wave of nausea overcame me. I knew this was it. This would be the moment when she would change her mind and part of my heart would be broken forever. I walked down the hallway to her room with so many mixed emotions. I walked into her room and over to her bed, trying to smile instead of cry. She also smiled bravely at me as I laid my hand on her shoulder. She asked me how the baby was. I whispered "perfect," through my tears. She reached her arms out to me and as I knelt to embrace her she cried and said "I am so very happy for you."  At that moment I understood how complete and perfect a mother's love can be. I'm not referring to my own love for Abby Kate. I'm talking about a young woman who loved her baby so much that she would give away part of her heart to make sure that it had the best life possible.

Almost two weeks later, after she became legally ours, we brought Abby Kate home. Now as I'm typing this, I'm watching her perfect little face while she naps, and I can't help believing that in this world full of natural disasters, war and pain, there is a God above who is still sharing his love through the miracle of his children. I will do my part to embrace that love, share it with others, and bring a little bit of peace to the world. I am so thankful.